


Adapting to Change

by ilyena_sylph, Merfilly



Series: Reckoning [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Relationships, F/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 20:46:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8504806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilyena_sylph/pseuds/ilyena_sylph, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: Ahsoka takes Reckoning to a safehouse so he can adapt. As he does, Rex joins them, and she finds out more of how her beloved Master Fell and became Vader.





	

There was little in the way of distractions in the small city on a planet that seemed to fall between systems and powers. Ahsoka kept track of as many of those as possible for when she needed to lay low, or somewhere to shift refugees. She had never thought that one of those refugees, possibly against his own will, would be the man her master had evolved into. 

However, they both needed the time. For all that Ahsoka had spared into healing him, and Asajj had poured into her, she still had internal bruising, maybe more, that needed to actually have time to rest. He needed to become comfortable and familiar with his new range of motion and grasp on the Force. And she had a brand new ship lacking in all of the upgrades and mods she was accustomed to on ships she flew.

"So we will stay here a while," Ahsoka decided, out loud, after running through all the pros and cons in her own head, the ship firmly settled on a landing pad on the outskirts of the city. 

"It seems suitable enough," Reckoning -- the days in hyperspace had allowed the name to settle comfortably on his shoulders -- replied. It wasn't a desert, nor was it a paradise of a temperate world. There was technology enough that he had no concerns on that score, and the population so far appeared uncaring about the newcomers. All in all, acceptable. 

"It might take a few days for Rex to show up. No idea if he was in the middle of anything when I contacted him. And there's the fact he'd never lead a tail, even of our allies, to me." Ahsoka considered. "Though with Arseven, and I'm certain he'll use my personal ship and droid, he can plot a devious enough course to frustrate everyone. That little droid… I think he picked up habits from Artooey."

Artoo. 

That was a designation he had not thought of in a very, very long time. The mention still brought up the instant image of -- of her, beautiful and strong and whole -- with the astromech rolling along behind her. /I'm scared too. Don't worry, we have Artoo to protect us./ A dead infant's voice, and laugh. 

Artoo standing with Threepio on Varykino's great balcony. Lifting him out of -- 

\-- he shoved the dead boy's thoughts and memories away with a low, dark oath and focused on the fact that Rex would be there before much longer. Another piece of that dead boy's past. But one that would be... simpler... to deal with than those memories. "I would not be surprised."

Within the ship, he had been able to reconnect with his body to some degree, had found that it was easier to touch the Light Side than it had been in all of Vader's memories... but there had been precious little room to actually _move_ , and see what all of her meddling had been able to give him. 

Ahsoka slung her personal bag over her shoulder, guiding him. She had a place… if no one had taken it over… near here. She might never again use this bolt-hole, depending on how her relationship with Reckoning progressed, but she'd make sure it was available to him, if he wound up leaving her.

It didn't take long to get there, a small single family dwelling with a walled off yard of its own. She reached out to discover if her security had held out… and found only the small scavenger and opportunistic life-forms within the dwelling. She applied her Force manipulation to the locks in three locations, handily defeating the safeguards designed to make the place implode if breached. While she trusted her security measures, she knew anything could eventually be sliced.

"It pays to keep places like this, where the local laws and population pressure allow me to," Ahsoka told him. "Funnel enough revenue through in laundering schemes, and the government looks aside at the long absences."

She didn't have much to do with Rebellion financing, but knew enough to point the Alliance at places like these, where bounty hunters and pirates alike tended to do business quietly, to keep their safe-havens free.

Reckoning made a darkly amused noise, having felt what she was doing with the Force -- and it didn't take much to figure out why. He had a number of similar traps on various portions of his residence -- 

\-- his residence. Oh, kriff. No, that for another time. A time when he was fully in control of his body and powers again. 

"We should be mostly undisturbed here, to let you find your rhythm and for us to maybe work out a new measure of cooperation," Ahsoka said as they entered the walled yard. "Rex is probably going to want to test my deflection ability these days once he gets here," she half-joked. "But he can work on the weapons systems in the ship when we're modding the engines."

Reckoning nodded, before her comment about Rex's likely reaction made him snort in actual amusement. 

"I somehow doubt they've decayed," he pointed out, before the thought of all the work there was to do on the ship had him brightening somewhat. He hadn't gotten to actually work on a ship himself in... a very long time, and he missed the soothing work. Besides, she had excellent ideas for modifications, and he wanted to see them applied. 

"They haven't, but I know he worries when he's not actively right there yelling at me for being reckless," Ahsoka said in a light tone. She led them into the small residence, touching light controls to see that the place had mostly weathered her absence well. She could smell some evidence of the vermin that had come searching food and shelter, but that just gave her (or Rex, because sometimes he was far more domestic) something else to do while Reckoning improved his control.

She went to the small kitchen, slinging her bag around to start stocking the dispenser with the nutrient mixes she ran on during ship-board time. Fresh foods could wait until tomorrow, and maybe she'd find time to actually go hunt…

"I'll hit the marketplace tomorrow, Reckoning. So think on anything you want me to get for you."

He blinked at her, startled, his weight shifting slightly as he considered that thought. He had needed and wanted so little, for so long, that the casual offer was -- odd. Oh, sentients of many varieties brought him things they thought would influence him, but it was rare that he retained anything. For a number of reasons. "He always did worry," he replied, a breath too late. 

"That's Rex," Ahsoka agreed, feeling a small victory at the way those words had emerged. She might not get 'Anakin' back, but maybe Skyguy would be closer to who this man would up being? "He's a bit older, hell of a lot trickier, but still the Captain he always was, with an eye to keeping people alive."

"Good," Reckoning said. That there was one _vod_ , at least -- yes, she said others, but would not say who -- that had escaped the fate dealt to them by his _former_ Master was still something he very much approved of. He moved through the space, to learn it, and then stepped back out into the walled yard. There was more space to move out there than there had been open space on the small ship. 

In that open space, he could attempt to truly move. Everything he had done so far was exponentially less painful than it had been, but this... could be an entirely different situation. 

Ahsoka let him go, not intruding, letting him have the time to begin… and then moved to the doorway, keeping her Force presence tucked in close to her physical body while she watched him. There were moments when she still doubted her choice, but overall, she was fairly certain this could only be a good thing.

Even if Reckoning did not relinquish the ways of the Sith, she would be able to use their alliance to get to the Emperor and kill that foul beast. 

He saw her there in one turn, was unsurprised -- and continued with his own exercises, unheeding of her presence. He was still limited, and the armor was still part of that -- but this... he could actually _move_ , somewhat! The new neural interfaces didn't like it much, but he had only lost his balance once, and that before she came out. 

He stopped when his lungs began to hurt, having worked through more unarmed kata than he could remember having done since the suit -- but it was a strangely good kind of hurt. 

"Well done," she praised him. "You keep that up, and we'll be invading Coruscant before you know it," she said, still leaning in the doorway to give him his space. "Any suggestions for the armor? I noticed a few stiff movements, and couldn't tell if they were fixable."

"I can't yet, either," Reckoning admitted, "and let me sit down with a stylus and think about it for a minute or two." 

She was _not_ supposed to be the one praising him, but it... something cool and soothing spread from her words, unfamiliar and -- and something he wanted to keep, somehow. 

"I can do that. Might have flimsi to work on, but I know I have a decent drafting program in my spare datapad. Use it to try and work up new mods when I am stuck in hyperspace, for armor or ships or weapons. Not as good with that last, but I did help get those modulating stun rifles built." Those could go through energy fields, and help take down targets in a non-lethal fashion, such as when they needed to interrogate Imperial officials before… well. The Rebellion couldn't exactly hold prisoners easily.

"Those things," Reckoning muttered, hearing a sour note in his own voice. Those things had been trouble since they appeared. "Why am I not surprised you had a hand in them, trouble?" 

Ahsoka smiled broadly. "Maybe because you do know me a little." It was ironic that she had come up with a better stun rifle, having learned the hard way how to handle herself against the original versions. She led the way back in, finding the tools he would need to work on his design, leaving the spare pad open to her own notes and drawings on the armor he wore.

He moved to follow her, to take the tools and start working. That the designs were there for him to work from was a definite benefit. 

It would occupy him a little while, at least. 

+++

Reckoning heard the voices about the same time he was fully aware that someone else was in their refuge. The suppressants were mostly out of his system so why… oh. Ahsoka was blanketing the other person with her own shields, which was quite the interesting trick. He listened, just to verify the identity of the newcomer in the main room.

"I am glad you chose to come," Ahsoka said.

" _Riduur_ , if you thought I was leaving you alone with this project of yours, you hit your head too hard," Rex grumped at her, still in her arms. Was he angry? Was he worried? Yes, to all of that, and Arseven agreed with him, which was highly unusual, given that droid's attitude.

"It's going better than I could hope," Ahsoka said, her tone defensive. "Reckoning… yes, that is the name he is using, and it fits eventual plans… is adapting quickly to the new armor. He's been helping me mod the ship I had traded the Quizzie's scrap heap for. And he's mostly quiet. Which … well, Skyguy being quiet usually boded ill for his enemies, so I will take it."

"What made you even try to save him, 'soka?" Rex asked, as they went to curl together on the couch.

"A lot of things, Rex. Memories. Loyalty. A need to be more than just retribution. A need to let him choose his path as freely as I could. I don't know all of it, but I know that I was told to go to Malachor for a reason! You know good and well I never would have listened to any Jedi about what I should do, not alone! The Rebellion is my focus. 

"But the Force said I needed to go, and that, that is something I can't ignore as easily. Not with the way it thrums at me." She rested her head in his lap, like she wasn't in her thirties, like she was still that commander needing guidance, and Rex started stroking her montrals to help soothe her. 

"Alright, I get it, even if I don't like it when you do the mystery bit with the Force. What do you need of me, to help him or you?"

"I'm going to have to let you and him figure out where you stand with each other," Ahsoka said, sighing heavily. "But for me? Just be you, Rex. You know when to pull me back from pushing too hard. You know how to manage my worst impulses. And I might wind up needing you to run interference for me, if my allies decide I really need to get back in touch."

"I can handle them," Rex promised. "Now what's eating at you that you're not telling me, _riduur_?"

"I… I'm not sure I want to, Rex. Because I'm still choking on my anger every time I think of it, and it has to do with what I found when I cracked that armor. So… don't push yet? Not on that?"

"As you wish." He stroked her montrals a bit longer, then noticed that she was slipping toward sleep. "Hey now; we're neither of us a pair of shinies to fall asleep on the couch. Up and bed, so you can be the pillow." 

She laughed softly, and complied with his direction, dropping an arm around his shoulder as she guided him to their bed, never realizing how much of all of that her ward had heard.

+++

Reckoning was awake at the sound of movement, bare hours later, and moments after that realized who it was. Ahsoka, of course. She never slept long... but then, neither did he. Quietly, he rose and went to join her in the quiet dark of the kitchen. 

She had a cup of strong kaf in her hands, and looked up at him with a raised eye-mark. "Want a cup?" she offered, pretty certain the answer was no. Few Force users liked to use the heavy stimulant, but she'd developed a habit for it as a teen and never dropped it. She could be persuaded to drink spicy cocoa, but didn't have the ingredients on this world.

"The way you brew it? I do not think so," he replied, finding a piece of counter to lean one hip against. "...you married him?" he asked, still mildly surprised at that part of what he had heard, but... then again, he shouldn't be. She was no Jedi, and she and Rex had always been... unique. 

Ahsoka smirked, shifting in the chair to better face him. "He offered his vows. I accepted by saying mine. So technically he married me first," she said. "Should have known you'd hear him come in, quiet as he tries to be." She sighed softly. "Not as graceful as he once was, but he manages. I wish I'd seen the issue earlier."

"The Emperor determined... six? years ago that the continuation of the accelerated aging was a detriment, and the remaining Kaminoans provided a solution. Though it undid none of the prior effects," Reckoning agreed with that last. 

So, it had been Rex that began it. That did not surprise him at all. "That was an interesting trick, hiding him inside your signature." 

"I do it on automatic now. Hide him, engage the target, let him get into position for whatever the objective is, and the Quizzies never notice him." She gave a half-shrug. "He hates letting me be the obvious target when we do work together, but it really wasn't much of a change from original methods." She sipped her kaf, then rolled her shoulders to loosen them up. "He'll be wary, but it has a lot more to do with me trying to get myself killed during absences than who you once were, I promise. He resents, so much, that we do have long breaks where I don't have backup."

He snorted at her, darkly amused, though the idea of her 'trying to get herself killed' suited him _not at all_. Something else she had said, though... the idea that she might be in contact with Kenobi had chewed at the back of his mind since he heard the comment. "...a _Jedi_ sent you there?" 

"A vision of one, but yes, the little troll," Ahsoka said openly enough. She had let go of her anger with him initially, but that didn't make him her favorite person.

Reckoning made a low noise, somehow both dissatisfied and relieved. He did not like the thought of Yoda much more than he did the one of Kenobi, but it was... soothing, that it had not been _him_. 

"The only Jedi I deal with regularly was just a kid when everything went down," Ahsoka told him. "The man that came after the boy? That was Caleb Dume. Younger than me by three years, and it's a flat miracle he survived.

"Especially as Grey's men had always been wary of Depa for her missteps."

"I remember the child," Reckoning replied, settling down a little more at that. "And find that I must agree." 

He could feel her sincerity, after all. She did not know where they were, not to any real degree -- if at all -- and so there was nothing he could or should attempt. 

"You know I disagree with the Order, as it stood, right?" she offered him. "Even before everything happened… I was not happy with the Order. The trial just finished curing me of my idealism."

"I know," he replied, making an agreeing flick of his fingers. "It is among the reasons I agreed." 

"Good." She could regret the deaths of those she had called friends and been close to without feeling a damn bit of remorse for the Order itself. "Some people think I'm a good listener. It might be the montrals."

"They are impressive," he agreed, amused at her quiet offer. But where... where could he even start, with any of it? 

"Or, you know, we can do the usual thing of go work on the ship, or spar, if you think you're ready for that step. I might even be persuaded to stick to one lightsaber," she said before draining her kaf. "Rex won't be up for a few more hours, after all."

"Let's not wake him with the sound of a fight, then?" Reckoning replied, before... "the ship sounds like a good plan."

"Alright." She stood to find her sturdier boots, a concession she had finally made for protecting her feet from injury.

She was soon ready and walking with him, taking in everything as threat and not almost instinctively. At her ship she called a cheery greeting to Arseven… who immediately told her off for worrying him.

"Fussy," she said, continuing to the newer ship. The droid, of course, made a sharp noise of disapproval before dropping back down into sensor mode.

He missed that, missed _Artoo_ (though any droid with actual personality counted) with a sudden twist of ache in his chest. He pushed that away, and followed her under the ship to go to work on what needed to be done. Harder, now, than it had been for that dead fool, but... worthwhile. 

She lost herself in the work alongside him, falling into a rhythm of work that precluded the galaxy at large. She kept telling herself to go slow, that the Rebellion didn't need her as much as it needed what she could do if Reckoning stayed at her side. It soothed the sense that she was neglecting her duty to be doing something she actually liked.

"You realize this may very well wind up as your ship, right?" she said, sometime later. "I've got a corvette parked elsewhere, and then there's my fighter. So if there's an adjustment you want, feel free to add it to the list."

Reckoning blinked at that thought, surprised -- though he wasn't entirely certain why he was surprised, after a few moment's thought. She had what she needed, after all. And she had made no indication that she meant to keep him at her side by anything less than his choice. He had no idea what to do with that knowledge, it was something he had literally never known... "...no, I had not considered it. I will consider other modifications, now." 

"Good." She smiled at him, warmly, and found herself truly meaning it for him. It wasn't for the man he claimed was dead, and it lacked the malice she felt for the murderer. Reckoning was becoming his own person within her own concept of him, and that made it a lot easier. "If I can't buy or steal what you need, I can always clean up at a local cantina with sabaac," she promised him.

"I am sure you could," Reckoning replied, amused. That had never been something he was good at, not particularly, but his Mas -- the old memory had almost shown itself full in his thoughts before the very fact that it had arisen without his intent ignited his rage again. That man, as much as the Emperor (if not more), he hated. 

Ahsoka's eyes widened as she felt a wave of anger, old and hot and merciless swell suddenly. "Did I say something wrong, Reckoning?" she asked him softly, treading lightly. She wasn't proud of the gambling or her thievery, but she had a Rebellion to run, and sometimes they were necessary.

"No," he answered her, flicking his hand from left to right to emphasize it. "It only... brought to mind who taught you some of those tricks."

She had done nothing, and for that, he tried to quell the rage. 

She'd honed her skills among the men… but it had been Kenobi that, with a perfectly straight face, taught her the best ways to fleece dishonest men.

"What did he do?" she asked in a flat voice, old anger for how hard Obi-Wan Kenobi had betrayed her master coming right back to her. Had he managed to stoop lower than Rako Hardeen? Is that what had pushed her master to Fall?

Her anger roiled savagely, sharp and intent, her voice so flat... and that was enough to make him choke back some of the spiteful tone he wanted to use to answer that question. "You have seen, utterly clearly, the answer to that question, Ahsoka." 

She stared at him, the color draining out of her lekku, and she swayed slightly as he said that. The Force… did not think it was a lie, and he sounded firmly justified in the way he said it.

Obi-Wan had done that? Obi-Wan had hurt him that severely? "Why didn't he kill you?" she asked in horror at the idea of her former grand-master leaving a person to suffer like that.

"...I do not know," Reckoning answered, watching her blanch and sway and swallow against the truth. That she did not argue, that she only asked the question that had haunted still moments of his life for fifteen years -- for that, he felt as though the heart in his chest was his own, and that part of him loved her again. It was her way to be blunt and opinionated, to state things and ask in that frank manner, always had been. "He could have, but watched me burn instead." 

The stream of profanity was immediate… and followed by a typical-form Ahsoka hug, wherein she threw herself at Reckoning, arms closing around his neck as she leaned into his chest.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up anything like that."

He caught her on pure reflex and instinct, nearly falling backwards, but he stabilized them both and held her in against his chest. Her fury and her apology alike were _her_ , in all the ways he most clearly remembered from Skywalker's time with her. Ways that were... more soothing than they should be, but also nothing he wanted to reject. "Of course you did not. It... is all right." 

She leaned into him, struggling to understand how. Yes, if she had found Darth Vader, been in a shape to fight him, so soon after the slaughter of the Jedi, she would have been merciless… in killing him. To leave any creature or sapient being to suffer through that kind of horrible torture was as foul and unnatural as what Rex had later told her about the Temple.

"If you somehow intuit an answer," Reckoning said, after a little while of quiet, of his hand moving along a part of her side where he would not touch any of her lekku, "I -- would appreciate it -- if you shared it." 

"The only thing that makes any sense is my original idea about the Council," she admitted sadly. "That all of the festering wounds of spirit had become too much and broke them all from being true Jedi," she told him. "Granted, I thought it up while trying to keep from freezing to death on the transport I took away from Coruscant, right after they tried to bribe me."

"...they what?" Reckoning blinked at her, his hand stilling on her side. 

She drew a deep breath in and looked up at him. "They offered me my Knighthood, Reckoning. They talked about me persevering through the Trial, and it meeting all requirements. That was going to take me from Skyguy no matter what, so I left. I just didn't have the words to tell him then."

He shifted his hold, angry again but not at her, and clenched his fists against portions of her back, not her skin. "You were nowhere _near_ ready," he growled, wondering whose idea _that_ had been. Who had thought she could possibly be ready... and who had wanted to rip her away from him -- from Skywalker. Not him. 

Her loss had made it easier for him to lose even faint belief in the Order, had... "Hm. Was one of them consciously the Emperor's creature?" 

Ahsoka jerked, then swallowed hard. "That… that would explain a lot. Because they just kept making stupider and stupider choices just up until when I left. I can only imagine what happened after." She made herself breathe, deeper, then let it out, and bring herself to center, more because she had intended to comfort him. "Hey, I'm supposed to be helping you, not hashing out ancient history, remember? You need to talk, even if is about stuff from Skyguy that is still haunting you, or things Vader went through to build him, I'm listening."

He sighed, making it project low and deep, and carefully squeezed with both forearms. "Everything cycles back to them, somehow," he replied, low. "Well, them and Skywalker's ability to be a complete idiot." 

That actually made her bristle a long moment, before she could get her hackles down and reply evenly. "Skyguy was reckless, yes. He had a lot of bantha shit going on that probably didn't help. But he was never stupid," she said in a deeply convinced voice, her passion and loyalty shining brightly.

He did not sigh this time. He should have expected that response, from her. It wasn't as though he didn't remember how she had been. "You may think so. I have many reasons to disagree... though your finding the corruptions you did in my mind does change my opinion. Slightly." 

"Even if you prefer to see him as separate and dead, which I have accepted, his experiences still shaped you in their own way… and we are always our worst critics," she said, an attempt at compromise over the issue. "But we agree the Council was full of idiots… and maybe a traitor too."

'We do agree on that," Reckoning agreed, leaning his head against her for a few moments. He sighed, heavily, and said, quiet, "Skywalker killed Dooku. I have no idea if anyone other than the Council -- and Emperor, of course -- was ever aware of that." 

She reached up to lay a hand along his face, cupping the line of the armor with familiarity. "The frightening thing, Reckoning, is that I am not surprised, either by his doing so, or the fact it wasn't publicized immediately. Because if that filth had let it escape that the Republic's beloved Hero had killed the face of the Seppies, the clamor against the Jedi would have fallen away, and his actions wouldn't have held up so easily."

He leaned against her hand, breathing in, and out. "...truth," he agreed, dryly. Not that that would have helped -- would have helped keep _her_ from dying, but. Other things might have gone differently. "He -- Skywalker -- would not have spoken of it, as it was a... more serious step into the Dark than the 'Order' could have accepted, no matter how necessary it was." 

"Sometimes I wonder if anyone in the Order even knew what the Light or the Dark was," Ahsoka said, and her voice held a different tone to it, one that was disappointed… older… more aware. She blinked after a moment, shaking her head, and her lekku twitched violently before she drew in a deep breath and stepped back some. "Sorry… cynicism, I guess."

"No need to apologize," Reckoning replied, "I certainly don't disagree." 

"There is a middle road," she whispered, before turning back to the task she had been on.

He turned those words over in his head for a while, working on his current project, before he said into the quiet between them, "You recall the Chancellor's kidnapping, I'm sure. It was then Dooku died. And after that... Skywalker learned _she_ was pregnant. He truly started falling apart, then." 

Ahsoka leaned her forehead on the ship structure, eyes closing in pain… and guilt. She knew that he meant Senator Amidala. She would never be convinced that her choice to leave hadn't been part of Anakin's Fall. If she had been there, he could have had someone to trust, someone to reach out to.

She might have been able to save them.

"I saw the funeral," she said. "I'd made it off Mandalore by then."

Reckoning flinched despite himself at the mention of that event. "...I didn't. I saw a recording, later. That night, he began having visions of her death... he thought in childbirth, could hear the child wailing. The next day, the Chancellor used some of his new powers to force the Council to place Skywalker on it, as his representative." 

She opened her eyes and looked over at him. "I wish he'd left with me," she said in startling clarity. "He didn't belong any more than I did. We could have found a way to keep the men safe… but the Order was the wrong place. Have that filth put him on Council … that would have just made it worse, because those karking bastards would have shoved their heads further up the _shebs_."

"You're not wrong," Reckoning agreed. "And... he should have, if he wished to remain himself. They used Kenobi -- knowing full well Skywalker loved him, then -- to order him to watch the Chancellor, report on him, seeking the Sith in his dealings. ...they weren't _wrong_ , as it turned out, but." 

"Wrong move in a big way," Ahsoka agreed. "You don't use someone who is loyal to the extreme in that fashion."

"Exactly," Reckoning replied, enjoying the feel of her steady condemnation of them a very great deal. "And then they sent Kenobi to Utapau after Grievous without him. Demanded Skywalker remain on Coruscant as their spy, in fact." 

She actively rolled her eyes at that. "Sith. There was a Sith in the Council. Because I can't believe even they were that stupid."

Reckoning snorted, and wondered which it had been. "I won't argue." 

"Skyguy… had already seemed pretty stretched and pushed before I left. This… yeah, starting to understand a lot better." She started working again, but her posture was attentive, listening, if he needed to talk more.

"He kept having the visions. Even went to that ancient troll -- despite everything -- hoping for... something. Oh, right. They refused to grant him status as a Master, despite the appointment to the Council, so he could not search there for a solution to what he Saw. I am **sure** you can guess what the troll told him." 

Ahsoka's lips skinned back from her teeth, baring the sharp teeth in a feral grimace. "Yes, I can." She still wanted to smack the troll for sending Ezra to Malachor. He had not been ready for that kind of trial.

"I thought so. He reacted as you would expect Skywalker to... and then the Chancellor told him a story, of a Sith who had found a way to prevent death, to escape it. That was one of those points Skywalker really should have realized what was going on _well_ before he did. But then... perhaps he couldn't." 

The Togruta looked that way, then made a small adjustment to the part she was working with, and let a deep breath go at the thought. Her Master, strong-willed, opinionated, and… influenced by a Sith Lord since he had been about nine.

She wished heartily that time-travel wasn't a myth.

"No, I'm sure he couldn't."

"The man did eventually tell him, outright, dangling what he could offer in front of him... and Skywalker ran to the Council rather than striking as he should have." It would have meant so much less pain, so much less horror... and, possibly -- no, he couldn't think that. He couldn't let himself. 

Ahsoka closed her eyes, hearing lost possibilities there, hearing what might have saved them all.

If only the Council hadn't alienated Anakin so badly, had handled him better… there never would have been a hesitation. Skyguy would have struck.

"Windu chose to leave him in the Council Chamber, alone, and took the other Masters on-planet to apprehend the Sith," Reckoning recounted evenly. "That proved a mistake, as Skywalker eventually returned to the scene in time to see him lost to Vaapad and the Chancellor about to die. ...he chose to heed that Palpatine offered the chance to save _her_ , to aid him instead of Windu's intent to kill, and became Vader in that moment."

"Of course," Ahsoka said softly, sadly. She ached for the man she had loved, but now? The progression seemed logical, given all she had ever known of her Master.

"He was given a mission, after Order 66. To go to Mustafar, and deal with the Separatist leadership there. Stupidly for everyone concerned, he told _her_ where he was going." 

"So Vader did kill the leadership," Ahsoka mused, even as she tried not to consider that what was coming was going to be hard to hear.

"Yes," he agreed, still rather satisfied with that end to the lot of them. "He hadn't been finished with that for long when she arrived... with Kenobi." 

Ahsoka made herself look at the armored features of this man she was hoping to guide into a force for good, fighting to keep herself calm even as dread rose in her heart for the rest of this story. The Senator… she hadn't stopped fighting for Ahsoka in that trial either.

"They argued," Reckoning said, "without Kenobi, at first. She was... less than pleased with what he had done. Not... without cause, I suppose. They weren't making much headway with each other... when Kenobi came off the ship. Vader believed she'd betrayed him -- and lashed out at her." 

Her eyes closed, Ahsoka drew in a deep breath. She had been dreading hearing it, knowing it had to be part of the madness, and now he had confirmed it.

"Kenobi forced him to release her -- he thought she was stable, she _felt_ alive..." the lines between his memories blurred, and for a moment he was seeing her again, crumpled from lack of oxygen but breathing, her presence still there. Reckoning shook that away. "The fight was a long one, and you have seen the results of it. The Emperor arrived in time to pull Vader from the lava shore... and once he was... aware again, he learned that he had killed her." 

Ahsoka shook her head. " _Bogan_ promises power, but at what cost," she whispered, using the ancient name for the Dark Side. "Always betrayal, instead of the willing sacrifice of _Ashla_."

"So," he agreed after a few moments, "I have noted." 

Ahsoka looked at him and then reached out, resting her hand on his shoulder. "Skyguy was made from Jedi mistakes. Vader was a puppet of circumstances designed to give the Emperor a hound to use for fear.

"What you make of Reckoning will be completely for you to decide, alright? I do want you at my side, to fix the Emperor issue, but I don't want to control you in any way. Are we clear on that?"

Reckoning leaned slightly into her hand, studying her face, before he made a quietly agreeing noise. "It is a strange thought... but one I do understand. We are clear." 

The knowledge that the very fact she did not want to was what would keep him at her side... that, for the moment, he kept to himself. 

"Alright. I feel like I keep harping on it, but… I feel it bears repeating. I never knew how restricted I was until I was surviving on my own." She pulled back, promising Kenobi a very rough time of it in her head, if the man still lived. Part of it was for being so mercilessly cruel, but the other… the other was leaving her alone to fight this long on behalf of the Rebellion.

"...I do not take it as harping," Reckoning told her quietly. 

"I'm glad. I just want to make sure you do know you have a choice this time." She grimaced, knowing her assignment to Skyguy had been without his input at all.

Reckoning reached out, spreading his hand on her shoulder, and squeezed carefully, making a moment's quiet noise of agreement. "That was not your fault, Ahsoka." 

"I didn't help." She shook it off; it wasn't like she could apologize to Skyguy, or explain that not only had she been afraid of rejection, but she had been afraid no one would take her as an apprentice. "Let's get this bucket of bolts in a shape fit for you, okay?"

"An excellent plan," Reckoning agreed, and released her shoulder gently to go back to work.


End file.
